A month ago, life as I knew it changed. My world was rocked, turned upside down. Everything changed in a matter of seconds.
As all the dust settles, I’m somehow supposed to pick up where I left off before that fateful phone call. What I’m learning is that my brain and heart don’t seem to work that way – it’s almost like a new life has started. There was life before that day, and now there’s this life after it. Some days are “okay”, some days are spent going through the motions, some days are like walking through a fog and all the rest fall somewhere in between.
I think about you everyday. I talk to you everyday. I even look for you everyday.
I found a dime last week. Randomly driving somewhere, I found a dime, in the seat of my car. I knew it was significant, but couldn’t remember why. Google enlightened me. It seems there is a belief that finding a dime is a sign, a hello of sorts, from a loved one who’s passed away. On a particularly difficult morning…I found a dime. An American dime. It was you…when I needed you most.
Last weekend I went to visit you. I sat in the grass and stared into the grey sky for hours. I straightened up the flowers. I left you a little gift, a memory. I found a dime that day. Actually two. On a day that I’d have given anything to be able to see you, to talk to you for just five minutes, I found a dime. Two of them.
I’ll never stop thinking about you. I’m still going to talk to you everyday. And somehow, we’ll figure this all out…one dime at a time.