I read a tweet today that ended with small victories are still victories. It made me stop. I reread it a few times and couldn’t help but reflect on the last few weeks.
My world has been filled with conversations about four topics…
Mother of the year moments that start with something like “How long has it been since you’ve made your kid shower?” and end with “Oh don’t worry, I ate chips for dinner. Twice.”
Everything Covid. Stats, facts, news, updates of every kind.
School questions. What will this look like? How do I…? When do I…? What do I…?
Anxiety. I’m not okay. I don’t know how to do this. I can’t get out of bed. I need to leave the house. I’m not okay.
…the most prominent being the latter.
I am lucky. I have people around me who can pick up the pieces as I fall apart and then help put them all back together as I am ready. People who have been virtually holding my hand until I’ve felt strong enough to let go. I have people who check in everyday and remind me that they’re here no matter what. People who remind me that it’s okay to not be okay. I love these people with my whole heart. I am eternally grateful for them.
The thing about being anxious and feeling not okay is that the world doesn’t stop and wait for you to be okay. Responsibilities exist, the to do lists grow, life around you continues. That fact in itself can be very overwhelming, which just causes more anxiety. This thought process isn’t helpful. It’s cyclical. And it’s easy to get caught up in. What I’m learning is that a change of mindset is the key.
The first day that I laid in bed, drinking coffee and watching Netflix because I wanted to was a big deal. I wasn’t in bed because I couldn’t get out. I chose to laze around in my homemade blanket fort. That was a small victory. I celebrated it. The moment I threw on running shoes and went for a run – small victory. The day I responded to 47 unread messages blinking on my phone for days – small victory.
You see, the thing is, these small victories add up to big victories. Big victories allow your brain to get to those responsibilities. When you look at small victories as still victories, that to do list gets shorter, because you’re suddenly able to refocus. Life stops passing by, and instead you find yourself living it instead of watching it – maybe at your own pace with your own priorities, but you’re still living it. And that’s the point isn’t it?
This too shall pass. And no matter your struggle, remember, small victories are still victories. Celebrate them.